Dasmarka Real Estate

1.
American ex-pat actor Johnny Depp and his French baby momma Vanessa Paridis are reported to have picked up the Palazzo Donà Sangiantoffetti that overlooks the Grand Canal in Venice. Mister Depp, who reportedly outbid an Arab royal, paid around £8,580,000 for the fixer upper. That's 13,599,800 at today's rate in American dollars.

2.
Did y'all know that tennis queen Venus Williams thinks she's a decorator?

3.
New York Yankee Derek Jeter's new department store-sized mega-mansion on the Davis Islands in Tampa, FL is finished and, hunnies, it's an architectural damn doozy, a real hot mess of the highest magnitude.

4.
The art- and book-filled Upper East Side penthouse of legendary New York City restaurateur Elaine Kaufman has hit the market with an asking price of $2,995,000. The petite two bedroom and 2.5 pooper penthouse has a wood burning fireplace in the living room, a gigantic wrap around terrace and is so far east it might as well be Brooklyn.

We are definitely not down with Miz Kaufman's choice of Southwestern print sofas in the living room, but we'd probably walk buck-nekkid through a ring of fire for the abstract impressionist painting in the dining room and we suffer even greater humiliation for the painting in the entrance hall that may or may not be a Franz Kline.

Ms. Kaufman's eponymous restaurant on Second Avenue near 88th Street has been a mecca and institution for the literati, glitterati and celebrati for decades.

5.
The folks at Curbed had a little conference call chit-chat this week with the real estate boys from Million Dollar Listing. The season 4 premiere is February third. Your Mama is not being paid any money for plugging the show–hello!–but we did get an invite to the premiere party and plan to drink our payment in numerous gin & tonics at the open bar.