Dasmarka Real Estate

1.
Some crazy beehawtcha built an 8,500 square foot French castle meets a cathedral style house on skid row in Albequerque, NM. That's right, children, skid row. A person should live how and where they want as their finances allow but it just seems to Your Mama's pea brain a little insensitive to stick a flashy gated mansion right up among all those homeless people. (Yahoo)

2.
Sarah Jessica Parker is still out scouring Manhattan for a new crib. She recently toured the $20,000,000 triplex penthouse at 419 Broome Street, the very same building where Heath Ledger met is untimely end due to an accidental drug overdose. The 7,634 square foot penthouse pad is faboo to be sure but it's also configured with only two bedrooms which means that ol' SJP and her man-mate Matthew Broderick would also need to buy the prairie-like 4,397 square foot full-floor loft below to accommodate their three tater tots. The smaller unit went into contract in early December and the penthouse went to contract just this last week. But, hunnies, be wise. There's no news (or indication) that the buyer is Sarah Jessie and Matty B. (New York Post)

3.
Somebody had the damn-fool notion to built a £700,000,000 "hyper yacht" to look like some Las Vegas version of the Principality of Monaco. According to Your Mama's currency conversion contraption that's an obscene 1,110,470,000 American dollars at today's rates. The 155-meter boat–that's 508 feet, nearly as long as two damn football fields–has more in common with an aircraft carrier than a private boat. Planned extravagances include a 4,800 square foot triplex master suite, tennis court, helicopter landing pad, several swimming pools, a submarine sea toy, a hair salon with mani-pedi stations and a go-cart track inspired by the Monaco grand prix circuit. Gawd, does the garishness ever end? (Guardian)

4.
New York Magazine compared old-school Upper East Side dowager at 740 Park Avenue with the wildly expensive upstart building at 15 Central Park West.

5.
Facebook gajillionaire Mark Zuckerberg decamped from one rental house for another slightly larger and more expensive rental house a few blocks away. The Santa Clara County Tax Man shows the two story residence measures 5,663 square feet and previous reports indicate there are 5 bedrooms, 4 poopers and a tight-ass security system. (Valleywag, TMZ)

6.
Some rich guy in the unlikely community of Highlandville, MO has (approved) plans to build a 73,000 square foot beast of a mansion. Seven-tee three freaking thousand square feet. Bitch, pleeze. Blueprints show the Wal-Mart-sized residence will include 15 bedrooms (including a surprisingly measly 1,300 square foot master suite), a 23,000 square foot basement with billiard room, fitness facility and home theater, a 1,600 square foot library, 2 elevators and–Your Mama assumes–more terlits that one person can scrub in a single day. This, children, is a real estate exercise that can only end in tears because these people will spend untold millions building a house almost 30-times the size of the average American home and we'd bet everything we have there isn't another person alive who can afford to buy and maintain a crib the size of a damn airport who wants to live in Highlandville, MO. (KSPR 93)

7.
In honor of the 68th Annual Golden Globes, which go down this afternoon in Beverly Hills, CA, Zillow has compiled an exhaustive list of the homes of nominees who include Natalie Portman, Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Michelle Williams, Kevin Spacey, Leo DiCaprio, Ryan Gossling and more. Listen kids, we don't know who this Lauren Riefflin gal is who researched and wrote the piece but Your Mama thinks she's a budding celebrity real estate rock star. Brava! (Zillow)