Dasmarka Real Estate

SELLERS: Robin Standefer and Stephen Alesch
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: $3,500,000
SIZE: Unknown square footage, 1-2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen chickens, not only are we feeling icky with a seriously sour vodka belly we've got various gifts to wrap, holiday bags to pack, an insurance company to argue with, and a couple of pooches to wrangle, not to mention our mean ol' pussy Sugar to deal with. Plus we've got our foodie friend Flower coming in from New York this afternoon, which means there's linens to launder, rugs to vacuum, a terlit or two to scrub and, finally, a reservation at Farmshop in Santa Monica that will require a nerve pill and pitched battle with sluggish rush hour cross-town traffic.

What we really need is the day off but rather than leave the children unexpectedly high and dry today, we've got a couple of celebrity real estate quickies. Let's start with the done done done–if not likely to everyone's liking–New York City loft apartment of Stephen Alesch and Robin Standefer, otherwise known as the hot hot hot designer/decorating duo of Roman and Williams.

Mister Alesch and Miz Standefer, former movie set designers, probably won't be household names for many tabloid and gossip glossy readers but anyone who has picked up a shelter publication in the last 5 or 8 years certainly knows exactly who they are. In addition to putting their special stamp on a number of du jour New York City hotels (Ace, The Standard, the lobby of the Royalton, the upcoming Willow on West 57th Street) and several dernier cri downtown eateries (Lyon, The Dutch) that cater to well-employed hipsters and other self-consciously cool types, Roman and Williams have done up posh private residences for scads of big shit showbizzers such as Kate Hudson, Gwynnie Paltrow and Chris Martin, and Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor for whom Mister Alesch and Miz Standefer have worked over at least four homes including the Los Angeles, CA mansion they recently sold to chisel-chinned actor and model dater Jason Statham.

Mister Alesch and Miz Standefer first listed their narrow, full-floor loft in NYC's once nitty gritty now impossibly chic and upscale NoHo nabe in early-July 2010 with a $3,500,000 asking price. The loft listing was discussed at that time by the EV Grieve blog and soon after by the kids at Curbed. Listing information indicates the price tag, which remains at $3,500,000, includes the furniture, curios, collectables and other assorted curated ephemera for which Roman and Williams are well known and which has been for the better part of the last ten years–for better and/or worse–their decorative calling card.

Property records are a big vague, we're afraid, but it looks to Your Mama like Miz Standefer and Mister Alesch scooped up the full floor loft in the white hot (and arguably over-gentrified) neighborhood sometime in 2005 for an undisclosed purchase price.

Listing information doesn't indicate the square footage but does show the slim fourth floor space as having 14 windows, four exposures with open southern and eastern views, direct elevator entry, 2 bedrooms, and just one bathroom. While it's true there's just one, albeit it exquisitely done bathroom, and it's obvious the "master" bedroom is tucked in to the rear of the loft with a walk-in closet, it's a bit of a stretch to call that fish bowl-like interior library a bedroom. Certainly it'll do in a pinch with an overnight guest who doesn't have pockets deep enough to shack up for the weekend at the nearby, terribly sheek and celebrity-stocked Bowery Hotel but without a damn closet or proper window to the outside it's an out-and-out punishment to make someone occupy the small, book-filled space as a full-time bedroom.

We haven't time to really dig into the curio-filled, idiosyncratic, and sumptuously moody day-core but we will say it's  many-layered things are lovely to look. However, as picture perfect (and decoratively up to date) as this loft may be the high-gloss ebony wood floor makes this a real challenge to anyone who might have dogs and/or wear shoes in the house. It would only take about a month for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's long-bodied bitches Linda and Beverly to have those mirror-like jet black floors scratched up like an agitated toddler stuck in a stickery bougainvillea bush. We're also not too keen on the double glass doors in the (otherwise windowless) bathroom. We just prefer a more opaque assurance of privacy in the pooper, especially one that opens (wide) to public areas of the loft.

The married designer-decorators' for sale residence happens to be in the same pin-thin building where in May 2005, according to property records, much lauded and accomplished interior designer Bill Sofield sold a loft unit for $1,250,000 to tee-vee and movie actor (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Oz, Jurassic Park) and Tony-wining Broadway star BD Wong (M. Butterfly).

Your Mama really has no intel whatsoever about where Mister Alesch and Miz Standefer plan to set up house next though we'd bet a pony it's someplace nearby but significantly larger. What we do know is that the design world darlings also own a modestly-sized 2-bedroom cottage (above) just a short skip to the ocean in Montauk (NY) they bought, as per property records, in February 2006 for $1,400,000 and was featured in (and photographed for) the New York Times last year.

listing photos (New York City): Stribling
interior photos (Montauk): Roman and Williams