Dasmarka Real Estate

SELLER: Mark and Alison Pincus
LOCATION: San Francisco, CA
PRICE: $8,900,000
SIZE: unknown square footage, 6 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Sometime in 2009, the quickly getting wildly and filthy stinking rich Mark Pincus and his online retailing wife Ali(son) were in the real estate mood for something more substantial and much more expensive than the (as of today just about sold) starter crib in San Francisco's Cole Valley 'hood Your Mama dissed and discussed earlier in the day and last listed at $1,970,00.

Property records show in November 2009 Mister and Missus Pincus splashed out $8,100,000 to purchase the four-plus floor mansion smack in the heart of the very upscale and old money* enclave of Presidio Heights situated a bit southwest of the posh Pacific Heights 'hood in the few few leafy blocks immediately to the south of The Presidio.

The folks at real estate juggernaut Zillow speculated last week that Mister and Missus Pincus may never have actually occupied their Presidio Heights mansion and that safety issues–specifically related to a crazy-talking former stripper and filmmaker lady from Russia–in part prompted the Digital Age honchos to seek less accessible, more private and, ultimately, more secure residential circumstances. Online listing resources indicate the Pincus's Presidio Heights pad was pushed on the open market about a week before Halloween (2011) with a (still current) asking price of $8,900,000.

Current listing information shows towering house, set well back and up away from the street behind and above a two-car street level garage and secure gated entry, was originally built in 1937 and has clearly been recently and extensively updated, upgraded and modernized in a manner that befits a budding tech tycoon like Mark Pincus and his entrepreneurial design maven wife Ali(son).

No square footage is offered with listing information which does show the house has a total of 6 bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms, a count that includes a lower level staff suite. Two full flights of stairs between the street and the front door will likely turn off the lazy and/or glutially underdeveloped multi-millionaires who may otherwise appreciate the opulent but casual and quite colorful residence.

The foyer's old-school elegance as exampled by the black and white checked marble floor and the shimmering silver- (or maybe platinum-) leaf ceiling is offset with a mish-mash of potted plants and flowers and walls that glisten with vivacious high-gloss grass green paint. The formal living room with dark wood floors, wood burning fireplace and terrace access takes a more subtle peach-y palette while the formal dining room strikes a minimalist pose with eight metallic bamboo Chippendale-style chairs with deep blue velvet seats that surround a gigantic distressed dining table, a melodramatic all-white chandelier, a striking (if not particularly compelling) contemporary artwork or two, and a dramatic wall of curved and multi-paned floor-to-ceiling windows and French doors that open to the (mostly) symmetrical , painstakingly tailored, and (mostly private back yard.

The over-sized country-style center-island kitchen/family room has a white and glass-fronted custom cabinetry, vibrant lemon yellow subway tile back splashes, highest quality (and integrated) appliances, marble counter tops and a snack counter that separates the cooking area from the lounge and breakfast areas set into a full wall of curved and multi-paned windows and French doors like in the formal dining room that open directly to the backyard entertainment spaces.

The bedroom level encompasses four family bedrooms and a sizable garden-view master suite (below, top left and right)) with sitting area, Juliet balcony, fireplace (with flat-screen tee-vee mounted above), built in book and photo display shelves, and a decidedly feminine bathroom with barely there all-glass shower enclosure, two sink vanity with marble counter top and matching beveled mirrors, and a oval soaking tub that sits under an oval skylight.

Larger and even less formal family/media quarters and bedroom-sized wine-cellar on the lower level (below, top left and right) open out to the terrace space at the front of the house over the garage and a full-floor penthouse/attic level finished as sitting room (with fireplace) and office area with giant circular window (above, bottom right), perhaps the best vantage point in the house for a view over The Presidio towards the muscular tips of the Golden Gate Bridge.

A shallow stone terrace steps down a small grass patch resident pooches and other domestic animals will appreciate. A stone apron surrounds the lawn area that is in turn surrounded by a privacy promoting thicket of well trimmed bushes, hedges and trees. A wrought iron-railed stair runs along one side of the yard and connects to the lower and service areas of the house. Presumably this is how Juan the gardener gets the lawnmower and hedge clippers from his truck to the back yard.

*Old money is a relative term people, so before all you Euro-royals, Burke's Peerage snobs, and blue-blooded Mayflower descendants get all snippy and self-righteous about how old money simply does not exist in California, we ask that you hold your sassy tongues and recognize that Your Mama means old money as it relates to specifically to San Francisco's oldest, wealthiest and most discreet residents. Oh-kaahy?

listing photos:Sotheby's International Realty