Dasmarka Real Estate

4.
Young and telegenic real estate agents Madison Hildebrand and Chad Rogers from Million Dollar Listing better watch their pretty back because there's a new real estate reality show coming to Tinseltown. According to the Hollywood Reporter (via Curbed) the peeps at HGTV plan to spin off their successful Selling New York program and bring it to Los Angeles where it will be called, natch, Selling Los Angeles.

Like with the New York City version, the program will highlight the promotion of property listed and sold by three as yet unnamed boo-teek real estate agencies. Anyone what to clue Your Mama in on which agents and brokers are trying to get themselves up on the tee-vee?

5.
Not having had much luck selling her College Grove, TN farm the regular way, Grammy winning singer/songwriter Sheryl Crow opted to put her 150-ish acre spread up for auction with a current minimum bid price of $1,000,000. There's even a website and everything.

The bidding process for Miz Crow's Cross Creek Farm has already started and ends at 6pm on November 23rd, 2010.

Your Mama dissed and discussed Miz Crow's farm and its 10,264 square foot mansion in May of 2010 when it was officially listed with a sticker price of $7,500,000.

6.
According to the delightful Chloe Malle at the New York Observer, some wildly wealthy person has snatched up two adjacent condos at the Time Warner Center listed for a mouth-drying combined asking price of $57,500,000. The buyer of both apartments, a sprawling simplex and a slightly smaller doo-plex, was reported to be "an unnamed Russian tycoon" whose intent is probably to use the palatial pad as pied a terre.

It just goes to prove if you've got a billion bucks and you lose half of it, you're still filthy, stinking rich and have the financial wherewithal to lay our blood curdling sums of money for homes likely to only get used, at most, a few months of the year.

The smaller doo-plex, on the 74th and 75th floors, measures approximately 3,500 square feet and features 3 bedrooms, 5.5 poopers, a 40-some foot long living/dining room with unobstructed city views and a private elevator to lift all the people too damn lazy to climb one lousy flight of stairs. The apartment was last listed at $18,450,000 and reportedly went to contract for $15,700,000.

The larger, 75th floor simplex sprawler was last listed with a eyeball popping price tag of $34,950,000. If the children do the math as Your Mama did, you'll see that for some reason there was a $4,000,000 premium placed on purchasing the units together. We're not sure why someone would even consider paying four million clams more to acquire the condos together when they could simply do two separate deals and save themselves a considerable amount of money, millions actually.

Anyhoo, the 4,454 square foot apartment is being sold by "fortune telling phony" Steven Feder who made much of his money on the famous and infamous Miss Cleo pay-per-call psychic service where sad and lonely people paid big bucks to have some sassy ladee with a bad Jamaican accent offer wisdom and guidance over the telephone.

Mister Feder and his man-friend Lou Thomas Trosclair purchased the 5 bedroom and 6.5 pooper combined unit residence in January of 2008 for $24,480,000. The glassy aerie has a 40-some foot long living/dining room, a separate family room, a dee-luxe but windowless eat-in kitchen plus a second smaller kitchen at the rear of the apartment, and a master bedroom with his and his terliting facilities and a closet lined dressing area plus a walk-in closet.

The two apartments together measure a whopping 8,000-ish square feet and, according to Streeteasy, the combined common charges and taxes run an astounding $26,233 per month.. Unless a radical re-working of the floor plan occurs, by Your Mama's count there are a total of 8 bedrooms, 11 full and 2 half poopers, 3 kitchens, and a couple dozen closets.

This isn't the first time at the Time Warner Center Real Estate Rodeo for Misters Feder and Trosclair. In September of 2006, the two gays shelled out $9,750,000 to buy a 3,050 square foot apartment on the 65th floor of the south tower. They bought the condo from Puerto Rican pop star Ricky Martin who also happens to be gay but we doubt that was a factor in anything.

Now children, sit down because Your Mama is going to blow your real estate mind here: Misters Feder and Trosclair flipped the apartment just one year later. They sold to a neighbor for–are your ready for this?–$15,850,000. A few quick flicks of the well worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus reveals that's a heart stopping and almost unimaginable $6,100,000 profit in just one year of ownership.

Remember those real estate salad days folks? They seem so far back in the rear view mirror now, don't they?