Dasmarka Real Estate

Yesterday Your Mama worked out a real estate rumor about "housewife" Lisa Vanderpump from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills who several sources told us wants to sell her massive Richard Landry designed mansion up in the fancy-schmancy Beverly Park community so that she and her huzband Ken Todd can move to a smaller house.

We heard from Brenda Blabsitall that she wanted $35,000,000 but thanks to several other in-the-know children, we've come across a property website set up by the listing agent, none other than Mauricio Umansky, the hunky huzband of Miz Vanderpump's fellow "housewife" Kyle Richards. The property website reveals that the official off-market asking price for the Vanderpump-Todd mansion is not thirty-five million but $29,000,000.

The information presented on the property website includes an accurate bedroom and pooper count–7 and 10 respectively–and a couple dozen lush photographs of the mansion that includes two offices, an über-glam mirrored dining room table, a kitchen with concrete counter tops and smoked glass upper cabinets, and a billiard room with black walls and black wall to wall carpeting that we're certain makes their house gay Cedric want to murder them every time he has to pick the lint out of it.

There are also photos of Miz Vanderpump's behemoth boo-dwar, which includes a gleaming bathroom where the cabinet doors are done up with blush pink tufted velvet and trimmed with mirrors. We also get a peep into her sizable shoe and handbag room where Your Mama counted no fewer than six Hèrmes Birkin bags: white, orange, lime green, two pink, natch, and one heinously expensive brown crocodile skin number. That's enough Hermes handbags, hunnies, to put a child through a good college.

The guest rooms at the Vanderpump-Todd residence are, as expected, 5-star hotel style decorative fantasias of white slip covered things, gauzy cream-colored curtains, platinum gewgaws, crystal chandeliers, mirrored surfaces, and animal pelt throws and rugs.

It's far far far too fussy and feminine for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's decorative palettes, but it's also all amazing and fascinating and, in its way, rather fabulous. Even though both the house and the day-core shout, "I am so rich it's just sick," it also, somehow, manages to look like an actual home where it's okay to put your feet on the furniture–"Oh, don't worry, darlin' we'll just replace it if it gets dirty." Or maybe, despite all the frippery she surrounds herself with, we find that we actually like Miz Vanderpump and as such give her a bit of a pass on the day-core here and there. Or are we just going soft in our dotage?