Dasmarka Real Estate

...Disney's salvia smoking tween queen and cash making machine Miley Cyrus buy a deluxe condo in Panama City on Florida Panhandle, otherwise known as The Redneck Riviera? According to the gossip juggernaut TMZ, she did. The bizzy boys at Celebrity Address Aerial confirm that 18-year old Miss Miley paid a very adult $1,850,000 for a 4,300 square foot, 4 bedroom and 4.5 pooper condo with Gulf of Mexico views in December of 2009.

Seems like Little Miss Miley was on a real estate spending spree because it was just April of 2010, a few short months after she snatched her Redneck Riviera condo, Your Mama discussed the Toluca Lake, CA estate she had purchased for an even more grown up $3,400,000.

Listen up here, Little Miss Miley, because Your Mama is about to give you some free and unsolicited but sage advice. We don't really care that you smoked some salvia. Lowerd knows Your Mama wasn't a stranger to illegal substances when we were 18 years old either. What we do care about is that you're so damn dumb that you'd let someone take video of you sucking on a bong. Seriously, gurl? Then someone puts it up on the YouTube? Bitch, pleeze. You better get a hold of yourself, little ladee, or you're going find yourself all washed up by they time you're old enough to legally imbibe booze. Look at Lindsay Lohan, that poor Tinseltown statistic. It's nice that she's getting sober and all, but that girl wrecked her career and emptied her once full coffers by doing some of the same shit you're doing. Take heed Miss Miley.

Oh, hunnies, we have a tendency to digress today, don't we? Give us a moment as we try to get ourselves back on the celebrity real estate straight and narrow.