So you want to sell your home.

This is a funny little story that was sent to me. It is depressing to say but working on selling homes I can see where he would have problems that as a realtor I deal with daily with out even thinking about it.

Confessions of a For Sale by Owner (or never again will I attempt to sale my home)

After careful planning, doing hours of research, I decided to sale my home myself. Really what could be so hard about it- I would save thousands of dollars!

Day one: I purchased a sign at my local hardware store that had a tube attached it to put in flyers. Wouldn’t have guessed that flimsy metal and plastic tube would have cost $29.00. Couldn’t wait to get home and put the sign up. There is so much traffic on my street that someone will buy it!

Day two: Made some flyers on my inkjet printer at home, not to bad. I knew I had some marketing talent! Put 15 or so in the tube and took some to the office.

Day Three: While at work, a coworker commented on my flyer. Looks like a buyer! But all she said was that I misspelled some words and my $139.00 sales price seemed low.Went home and made more flyers.

Day Four: When I got home, I put the home on the web in as many places that would take a free listing; promising millions of people would see my ad. Sure I made the right decision now!

Day Five: Another coworker puts up a flyer on her house, with a price close to mine. Kind of jealous, her flyer looked better than mine and had more pictures.

First weekend: Worked outside cleaning up the home and really cleaned the inside. Sure someone will want to look at it this weekend.

Second Week: Keep getting emails from porno sites, have no idea where those are coming from. Also, getting a lot of callers that hang up. Maybe my answering machine isn’t working properly. Might need a new one. Somebody must be interested; I keep having to make flyers. One of my coworkers said that she heard of someone selling their home in two days after buying a marketing plan they saw on TV. Got the information on it and will look at it when I get home tonight. Mistakenly deleted an important email today while deleting the porno sites and the multi level marketing schemes. Unplugged my answering machine, clearly doesn’t work. Made more flyers with my cell phone number on them.

Third week: Received the marketing plan in the mail. For only $200.00 it looks great, lots of great ideas on how to market your home. Think I will put flyers at local Apartment. Complexes. I know one of them want to buy a home. Made 200 more flyers. Need to go to Office Dept to buy more ink. Spend 4-5 hours putting out flyers at the apartments. Tired, but happy. Received 10 calls on my cell phone about the house. Told them all they wanted to know and two callers set up appointments for tomorrow night. Left work early to get home to meet with the prospects but neither showed up. Guess they had something come up. More calls and three appointments this weekend.
Called my good friend and told her I couldn’t go out of town this weekend due to the appointments. Someone must have pulled up in the driveway to look at the house; there was a large oil stain on the driveway. Didn’t take long to clean it up though.

Saturday, one of the prospects didn’t show on time and when he did show; I had to stop dinner to meet with him. Cold spaghetti isn’t very good. He said he was just looking.

On Sunday both prospects came by. One couple brought their kids and they got mud on the carpet. They ask if they could rent to own? Didn’t understand the question so I said no. They hurried through the home and left. Did I do something wrong? Made some more flyers.

Fourth Week: Had to change my email because of the spam. How did they get my email address? Left work early again to meet with prospect. No matter, I can work later tomorrow. Worked 12 hours today and still didn’t get anything done. Must be stressed because of the house. My boss commented on my looks, maybe I need to take some time off. Carpet cleaners finally arrived, took longer than they said, so I called the office and told them that I wouldn’t be back today. Cell phone is ringing off the hook, and I spend what I think is hours talking about my house, but it seems that everyone just wants to know what the rent is- can’t they get it through their heads that I want to sell the house?

Fifth Week: No offers yet so I am going to reduce the price. Made more flyers. Went to Office supply store for more ink. Someone rang the doorbell at 6:00am this morning. Came home one day and my deck chairs were missing. Saw another oil slick. I now turn off the cell phone when I get home, need the peace and quiet. Tried to do some work on my computer and checked the sites that I place my ads on. For some reason, I couldn’t find my ad. Took a couple of hours to redo the ads and upload them. Morning is going to come too soon.

Sixth Week: My boss asked me into his office and asked if anything was wrong. Had no idea where he was coming from. My coworker closed on her house. Went home and found my stereo and TV gone, someone had broke in. Funny, saw another oil slick. Called my insurance the next day and they said they would take care of it, but I do have to pay my $250.00 deductible. Another prospect came by and got the carpet dirty again. And he asked if I would seller finance? My cell phone bill came in and I was over my limit by $75.00. Need to not answer the phone and only take messages. One of the apartments sent me a letter to come and take down all the flyers or I would be sued. I am going to have an open house this weekend. Called my girlfriend and cancelled our trip out of town. Had the open house and got the chance to see my neighbors. No one came by except them and that is after I spent $30.00 on drinks and chips. Made more flyers.

Seventh Week: Put the house on a FSBO website, only cost $399.00. Needed to make more flyers because I lowered the price by $5000.00. Read somewhere online that kitchens and baths needed to be modern to get the best price. I might remodel. Took off a day and ½ to meet with the contractors. For $40,000 I can get the best kitchen and bath ever! Now that the FSBO site is up, I am receiving more calls. Had to go out and buy a better camera to take the right pictures. It was suggested that I have a virtual tour. Went into work late to meet with the photographer. Only cost $79.00, she did a great job. It is really beautiful. Met with my banker at lunch to apply for the line of credit to do the kitchen and bath work. Great rate, interest only! It is time to put lime and fertilizer on the yard, not sure if I am going to do it since I am selling.

Eighth Week: The contractor started this week and should be finished in about two weeks. I can show the property even with the work going on. A prospect can see how much I take care of the home. It will get me a much higher price. After a couple of days of hard work, the contractor had to go do an emergency job. He said he would still finish on time. Had a prospect come by, but he couldn’t seem to grasp my vision on the work being done. He probably wasn’t interested anyway. Made some more flyers. Received my check from the insurance money minus my deductible. Went and bought a new TV and stereo.

Ninth Week: My parents came by to look at the work being done and my mother said she was worried about me. After they left I finished off the last of the wine. Need to buy some more chips and ice cream too. The contractor is back working diligently. The contractor is gone again. Saw another oil slick, checked my car. It has got to be coming from somewhere.
Another co-worker sold her home. Someone stole my sign. Bought another. Had a prospect come by, invited him to drink wine with me. That was sure bold! Only had one glass and left. Must be losing it. Dropped the price again, made more flyers. Contractor came back.

Tenth Week: Boss told me not to miss anymore work. Had a beer at lunch. Got home and contractor wasn’t there but my kitchen cabinets were-in the wrong place. Called the FSBO site and cussed them out for not selling my house. Was told it was my problem. Really don’t care to mow the lawn, I’m moving anyway. First payment is due on the line of credit. After I eat and have a drink I might call a Realtor. Contractor said he could fix the cabinets but it would cost me more money. And he needed an advance.

Well that was two months ago, the contractor took my money, got broken into again and I lost my job. My parents had me committed because of my drinking but I am not worried. The bank is foreclosing on the line of credit and I am going to lose the house.

Wasn’t that what I wanted anyway?

If you would like to sell your home in the Seattle area. I offer a free booklet to help you out. Please email me with your request.

Lonnie Snyder


Keller Williams Realty Southeast Sound

Phone: 206-406-2710

E-Mail :

Lonnie Snyder is a full time real estate agent and REALTOR® with Keller Williams Realty specializing in Residential Real Estate for buyers and sellers in Washington’s Kent, Renton, Newcastle and South Bellevue.

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